I’ve just returned from the Northeast Kingdom, where I met with some terrific parents to talk about their kids. I always learn so much from these conversations. All I can say is that I remain impressed with the concern and compassion parents show and feel when they speak of their children. Who knows them better than you?

We talked a lot about opportunities and motivation. Who out there has a 15-year-old who would rather plug in his or her iPod than talk with a parent? But, let me tell you, kids are listening and hearing what we say when we voice positive or supportive comments — as well as the other things we say when we’re frustrated by their disinterest. (Really, they ARE interested; they just don’t want YOU to know it.) So, here’s what we came up with in Newport:

• Keep talking with your children and learning about their interests.
• Make sure they have several adults, whom you and they trust, to talk with about their future plans.
• Watch what they do well and are interested in. Do they organize neighborhood street hockey games? Decorate their rooms like a diva? Have the whole community asking for them to babysit? Troubleshoot other kids’ latest technology? There are so many things our kids do every day that we should notice, realizing it takes skills to succeed at those things.
• And, lastly, give them some responsibility at home. There’s nothing like a little realistic expectation to help kids learn responsibility.

And remember all those jobs we had growing up? Allow your child to have a part-time job if it’s doable. Those early jobs teach important skills that come in handy when it’s time for the real deal.